Post by The Dankness on Mar 14, 2007 4:37:29 GMT -8
Today's game review is Golgo 13, for the NES. Now THIS game kicks ass. Golgo 13 is based on a japanese manga of the same name, and follows the exploits of a super spy/professional ass-kicker/ladykiller codenamed Golgo 13. I’m starting to wonder how many times I’m gonna have to type “Golgo 13” in this review. It’s such a funky thing to type. It’s a blast to say out loud though. Go ahead, try it. Seriously.
Anyway, this game follow’s Golgo 13 as he attempts to… Hmm, you know, to tell you the truth, I’m not really sure WHAT the hell this game is about, so I’m just going to type word-for word the plot as described in the game itself:
Over the Statue of liberty, a helicopter explodes mysteriously…… This is a CIA helicopter transporting Cassandra-G, a weapon of bacteriological warfare. The CIA concludes that the explosion is a part of a KGB plot…… And someone has stolen the vaccine…… A shell fired from an M-16 was discovered among the fragments of the ill-fated helicopter.
You see that word up there? Oh yeah, you read it right. BACTERIOLOGICAL. Now that is a freaking intense word. Words that intense are reserved for only the most intense videogames. Videogames like Golgo-13.
Dude’s a frikkin hardass.
Now, I’ve never read the manga that this game is based on, but I can tell by playing the game that this Golgo 13 guy is one badass mofo. He’s the type of guy who just straight-up kills anyone who looks at him funny, hangs around at fancy casinos, and goes around romancing hot chicks with names like Maria Lovelette and Cherry Grace (both real characters in the game, by the way). Seriously, there’ll be this stinkin’ hot chick trying to tell him where the secret weapons cache is and it’s completely flippin obvious that she wants him because she’s like sweating and stuff, and what does he do? He stands there like a damn cyborg, not saying a word. He don’t HAVE to say anything. He KNOWS the women want him.
To demonstrate, here is a typical bit of dialogue from the game:
Golgo 13 just don't give a damn.
Moving along, the game starts you out on a side scrolling stage, shown below:
So your walking through this town filled with guys in green suits trying to shoot you, and these crazy motorcyclists who are bent on running you the heck over. You walk around for a while, shooting whoever bothers you with this souped-up handgun that makes people spontaneously combust. To tell you the truth, this part of the game can get a little annoying, mostly due to Golgo 13’s inability to shoot while crouching. I don’t blame Golgo, though. He’s too damn cool for that shooting while crouching BS. I blame the designers… Douchebags.
So yeah, the game continues like this for a while, but occasionally this red revolver appears on the screen, and the game changes a bit…
Look out, Golgo! They shootin'!
One thing that I really like about this game is how much the gameplay varies from level to level. This next part is an example of one of those variations. From here the game switches to a first-person arcade-style shooter, where you move the target and shoot to defend yourself from ninja gunmen; And when I say ninja gunmen, I mean NINJA GUNMEN. These guys can seriously move.
In the later first-person shooting stages, even helicopters get introduced into the fray. From looking at the screenshots, it might seem like these shooting stages are difficult, but they are actually a breath of fresh air compared to the side-scrolling stages. Not only are they way more fun, but they give you a chance to earn back all the health you lose on the side-scrolling parts.
You walk around the town for a while, shooting guys, getting clues from fine women, and doing the occasional first-person gunfight, and eventually you find out that some important guy in a tower is gonna get sniped, and only you can stop it from happening. Golgo 13, being the badass that he is of course, decides to go by way of helicopter…
Holy crap! Now it’s a horizontal shooter! I mentioned that Golgo 13 was a badass, and this just proves it. A second ago he’s walking around shooting ninja-gunners and crazed cyclists, now he’s piloting a freaking helicopter Rambo-style and blowing up F-15’s and stealth bombers! Oh, and if that’s not enough, there’s even an occasional mid air first person shooting stage. Shooting jets out of the sky with the copter-mounted missles isn’t enough, he’s just gotta stick his head out the window and take some down with his frikkin explosive hand-cannon. That is bloody awesome.
When you reach the tower, the game switches YET AGAIN to a short sniper sequence, where you use your sniper rifle to ruin someone’s day.
FREAKING MOTED.
So yeah, you snipe the dude, get back to the town, and start searching for clues again. You eventually find out that the bad guys have a hideout hidden at the bottom of the river, so you set out to find some scuba gear, and make a little stop in the meantime…
Golgo 13 ALWAYS gets the job done.
It even refills your health… just like in Grand Theft Auto! This game was definitely ahead of it’s time.
You get the scuba gear and head for the river. When you get there, the game makes another switch. This time, it’s an underwater level.
Look familiar? Yup. Even “You, Diver” ain’t got crap on Golgo.
I won’t go into the underwater stages that much because they aren’t that great, but you do get to go around shooting sharks and octopuses with exploding harpoons, so it’s all good. There’s random first-person shooting stages down here also. This game has it all, I’m telling ya.
Once you find the underwater hideout, you get to experience another gameplay variation, and this time it’s the classic NES 3D maze.
Now, I’ll be the first to say that I HATE these types of levels in NES games. I freaking DESPISE them. They didn’t annoy me that much in this game, though, mostly because you get to shoot people and blow holes in walls with grenades as you explore the maze.
Well, that about covers most of what you need to know about the game. I could go on, but I’d rather sleep. Sleep rules.
BOTTOM LINE
While it might not be the greatest NES game ever made, it is definitely worth a try. What I really love about it was how many different types of gameplay they were able to cram into one game. It is quite an ambitious game, and you can tell that quite a bit of time and effort was put into it. Oh, and did I mention Golgo 13 is one of the baddest asses in town? He’ll lay you the hell out, foo.
7 ½ Maria Lovelette’s out of 10
See ya next game!
-MW
