Post by The Dankness on Oct 23, 2006 5:26:35 GMT -8
Boy it has sure been a while since I have written an article, and I've got quite a few planned, so I thought I'd start out with this one. I have posted it here since the boards have sorta become the new official spot for articles, so here goes...
Before I begin, let me say that I am as well aware as anybody, that the world of manga is not one that is usually known for its manliness. Take a look...
Those are all guys, by the way. Good Lord, that is painful. ANYWAY, as you can see, the word "manliness" is not always synonymous with "manga". Every so often, however, certain manga's come along that abound with such sheer masculinity that they rock the pants (or skirts, in some cases) off of all those manga girly-men, and sometimes seem to ad a bit of facial hair to the world of manga as a whole. Now then, I present you with the top five mangas that put the MAN back in the word MANGA.
Samurai Executioner was written and published by Kazuo Koike back in the 70's, and pretty much personifies what manga was originally meant to be: Samurai's killing the hell out of each other. Samurai executioner follows the exploits of a man known as Kibukiri Asaemon, which roughly translates to "Decapitator Asaemon". Believe me, when you have a nickname THAT badass, not too many people frick with you. Asaemon is a travelling ronin who works as a sword-tester for the shogun. In other words, he goes out and kills people with the swords to make sure they get the job done. Now if that isn't a manly job, I don't know what is.
Kazuo Koike has written many other mangas as well (most of which kick ass) such as "Lone Wolf and Cub" and "Lady Snowblood".
Now HERE is a manga that every self-respecting male should enjoy. Originally written and published in 1967 by famed manga author Monkey Punch (which, by the way, is the greatest name ever, period.), this manga is about the adventures of the greatest theif in the world, Arsene Lupin III. Lupin (who sports a pair of the greatest sideburns ever) and his two partners Jigen (an expert sharpshooter who could probably take the hairs off of a fly's back from 1,000 miles away) and Goemon (a stoic samurai who has been known to cut things like airplanes and entire buildings in half) pretty much spend the entirety of this 14-volume manga stealing everything they can get there hands on, romancing every woman within a 50-mile radius, and of course dodging the authorities. Really, what more could you ask for?
What do you get when you cross The Road Warrior with Enter the Dragon and that exploding head scene from Scanners multiplied by 100? You get Fist of the North Star, that's what the hell you get. Kenshiro, the main character of the manga, is a master of the (you guessed it) "Fist of the North Star" fighting technique. Basically what this technique allows him to do is strike peoples pressure points and make them explode from within... If you think that is awesome, then this manga is for you, because he NEVER GETS TIRED OF DOING IT. Nearly every other page in this manga has peoples brains erupting out from the back of their skulls, people getting split down the middle, or people's intestines spewing out of their navels and splattering all over groups of old ladies.
The Plotline focuses on Kenshiro murdering his way across a desert to get back his girlfriend, who was stolen by his old partner, or something like that... Really, when you read a manga THIS manly, plotline takes a back-seat.
Did I mention that Fist of the North Star features some of the greatest sound effects ever? BLOMSH!!!
Hoo boy. This manga contains such a level of brutal, graphic, uncalled for violence and gratuitous nudity, that only the most testosterone-laden individuals will possibly be able to appreciate it. Berserk follows the wonderful happy adventures of Guts, the most vicious, bitter, and pissed-off individual to ever star in his own manga. He's got good reason to be, too. Essentially, everything he's ever loved or cared about has been slaughtered, sent to eternal damnation, sodomized by bloodthirsty demons, or in most cases, all three. He is looking for revenge against a group of douchebag demons known as the GODHAND who ruined his life. He travels across the countryside with a sword the size of a frikkin building, dismembering anybody who looks at him funny. I'd keep writing, but since I've got most of this manga on my computer, I'll just let these pictures do the talking:
Anyway, this could go on forever, but it's getting late, and I need to move on to the #1 manga on this list...
Here it is, friends. The pinnacle of all that is masculine, all that is ugly, and all that is badass in the world of manga. This manga is the story of the worst school of delinquents ever to grace the Japanese educational system, and chronicles their ongoing quest to become ULTIMATE BADASSES.
Cromartie High School features the most hilarious cast of characters ever, including Kamiyawa (a timid academic type who quickly establishes himself as one of the biggest badasses in the school), Mechazawa (the most respected student at Cromartie, who also happens to be a robot), Freddie (a mysterious muscle-bound dude who bears quite a resemblance to another Freddie that we all know...), and a gorilla (
).
Ain't gonna see no girly stuff here, folks. Hell, females rarely even make appearences in the manga, and the ones that do are pretty masculine themselves. Be prepared for gang rivalries, pompadours, badass nicknames, gorillas, robots, aliens, the destruction of schools by way of meteorite, korean barbeque, afros, and pencil-eating. Nothin cute in sight. Nothin but pure, unadulterated machismo.
Clamp? Whatever. Fruits Basket? Gimme a break. Azumanga Daioh? Hell no. CROMARTIE HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this look at these manly mangas. This took a bit longer than I thought, so I shall now retire for a while to eat some beef jerky, play some God Hand, and crush some beer-cans with my head. Until next time, farewell! -MW
THE TOP 5 MANLIEST MANGAS OF ALL TIME
Before I begin, let me say that I am as well aware as anybody, that the world of manga is not one that is usually known for its manliness. Take a look...
Those are all guys, by the way. Good Lord, that is painful. ANYWAY, as you can see, the word "manliness" is not always synonymous with "manga". Every so often, however, certain manga's come along that abound with such sheer masculinity that they rock the pants (or skirts, in some cases) off of all those manga girly-men, and sometimes seem to ad a bit of facial hair to the world of manga as a whole. Now then, I present you with the top five mangas that put the MAN back in the word MANGA.
#5- Samurai Executioner
Really, the title says it all.
Samurai Executioner was written and published by Kazuo Koike back in the 70's, and pretty much personifies what manga was originally meant to be: Samurai's killing the hell out of each other. Samurai executioner follows the exploits of a man known as Kibukiri Asaemon, which roughly translates to "Decapitator Asaemon". Believe me, when you have a nickname THAT badass, not too many people frick with you. Asaemon is a travelling ronin who works as a sword-tester for the shogun. In other words, he goes out and kills people with the swords to make sure they get the job done. Now if that isn't a manly job, I don't know what is.
Kazuo Koike has written many other mangas as well (most of which kick ass) such as "Lone Wolf and Cub" and "Lady Snowblood".
#4- Lupin III
Theivery, badass hairdos, and lots and lots of hot women.
Now HERE is a manga that every self-respecting male should enjoy. Originally written and published in 1967 by famed manga author Monkey Punch (which, by the way, is the greatest name ever, period.), this manga is about the adventures of the greatest theif in the world, Arsene Lupin III. Lupin (who sports a pair of the greatest sideburns ever) and his two partners Jigen (an expert sharpshooter who could probably take the hairs off of a fly's back from 1,000 miles away) and Goemon (a stoic samurai who has been known to cut things like airplanes and entire buildings in half) pretty much spend the entirety of this 14-volume manga stealing everything they can get there hands on, romancing every woman within a 50-mile radius, and of course dodging the authorities. Really, what more could you ask for?
#3- Fist of the North Star
You are already Dead.
What do you get when you cross The Road Warrior with Enter the Dragon and that exploding head scene from Scanners multiplied by 100? You get Fist of the North Star, that's what the hell you get. Kenshiro, the main character of the manga, is a master of the (you guessed it) "Fist of the North Star" fighting technique. Basically what this technique allows him to do is strike peoples pressure points and make them explode from within... If you think that is awesome, then this manga is for you, because he NEVER GETS TIRED OF DOING IT. Nearly every other page in this manga has peoples brains erupting out from the back of their skulls, people getting split down the middle, or people's intestines spewing out of their navels and splattering all over groups of old ladies.
The Plotline focuses on Kenshiro murdering his way across a desert to get back his girlfriend, who was stolen by his old partner, or something like that... Really, when you read a manga THIS manly, plotline takes a back-seat.
Did I mention that Fist of the North Star features some of the greatest sound effects ever? BLOMSH!!!
#2- Berserk
Good God, this is some violent sh*t.
Hoo boy. This manga contains such a level of brutal, graphic, uncalled for violence and gratuitous nudity, that only the most testosterone-laden individuals will possibly be able to appreciate it. Berserk follows the wonderful happy adventures of Guts, the most vicious, bitter, and pissed-off individual to ever star in his own manga. He's got good reason to be, too. Essentially, everything he's ever loved or cared about has been slaughtered, sent to eternal damnation, sodomized by bloodthirsty demons, or in most cases, all three. He is looking for revenge against a group of douchebag demons known as the GODHAND who ruined his life. He travels across the countryside with a sword the size of a frikkin building, dismembering anybody who looks at him funny. I'd keep writing, but since I've got most of this manga on my computer, I'll just let these pictures do the talking:
Guts, ruining someone's day.
Guts, killing some guy, AND the horse he rode in on.
Guts, catching a sword in his friggin TEETH.
Anyway, this could go on forever, but it's getting late, and I need to move on to the #1 manga on this list...
#1- Cromartie High School
The manly manga, made BY a manly man, FOR manly men.
Here it is, friends. The pinnacle of all that is masculine, all that is ugly, and all that is badass in the world of manga. This manga is the story of the worst school of delinquents ever to grace the Japanese educational system, and chronicles their ongoing quest to become ULTIMATE BADASSES.
Cromartie High School features the most hilarious cast of characters ever, including Kamiyawa (a timid academic type who quickly establishes himself as one of the biggest badasses in the school), Mechazawa (the most respected student at Cromartie, who also happens to be a robot), Freddie (a mysterious muscle-bound dude who bears quite a resemblance to another Freddie that we all know...), and a gorilla (
). Ain't gonna see no girly stuff here, folks. Hell, females rarely even make appearences in the manga, and the ones that do are pretty masculine themselves. Be prepared for gang rivalries, pompadours, badass nicknames, gorillas, robots, aliens, the destruction of schools by way of meteorite, korean barbeque, afros, and pencil-eating. Nothin cute in sight. Nothin but pure, unadulterated machismo.
Clamp? Whatever. Fruits Basket? Gimme a break. Azumanga Daioh? Hell no. CROMARTIE HIGH SCHOOL.
LONG LIVE MANLY MANGA!
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this look at these manly mangas. This took a bit longer than I thought, so I shall now retire for a while to eat some beef jerky, play some God Hand, and crush some beer-cans with my head. Until next time, farewell! -MW
