The Animation Thread

[The Dankness]

I'm gonna have to go with #4. They make him look the most jaded.

[Muramasa]

Those oval eyes do make him look pretty warped.

[Captain Galaxy]

I would say definitely go with the goggles. It gives him character, even if they are too big, it's a cartoon, so his eyebrows, from my point of view, would still be acceptable being all the way up there. As for the eyes, I would say #5, but if it was up to me, I'd just go with the goggles.

[Inaaca]

After considering everything, it looks like I'm going to be going with the #5 type eyes. It captures the youthful look, makes drawing the eyes a lot simpler/quicker, and the simplicity helps to keep the face consistent between drawings.

Additionally, I went ahead and started doing some sketches with the new eyes, and I was surprised at how easy it was to really mold them expressively (likely due to the simplicity of the shape). After playing with it a bit, I found that I really liked it, so that'll certainly be what I'm going with.

Ignore the headshots in the top left in the image below. Those are a bit older and were done with #3 eyes. You'll notice that I drew a bunch of #5 eyes by themselves though, along with some sketches of Punk making faces with them.

Let me know what you think.



With the goggles, I rather like the exaggerated size, personally. Being realistic isn't that much of a concern, since it's a cartoon (even considering the dramatic nature), and exaggeration can help with character and expression (eyebrows included).

Oh, and as far as the comments about goggles/no goggles. He'll be wearing goggles during part of the animation, but not all of it. So yeah, he'll need eyes either way.

[Captain Galaxy]

I like yer thinking.

[Inaaca]

Couple random practice sketches of Punk.

[Muramasa]

I remember joking around with you about his balance earlier, but the pic on the right really does strike me as odd though. It's his right arm that bothers me, it seems a bit shorter than it should be. In fact, his proportions seem a bit off in general.

[Captain Galaxy]

Its true, the pic on the right is a little off, I could understand if the arms are that short because pressing against that door makes his arms scrunch up, but the think is that they don't look drawn in a compressed way, just shortened. However, given that this is concept art, I would understand that proportions right now are of little importance.

[Inaaca]

Yeah, I'm not all that satisfied with how these turned out, either. Thanks for the feedback, though.

[Inaaca]

Please read!



Alright, it's time for another brainstorming session. I'd like to set something up over voice chat or in person, but here's some stuff to help get juices flowing in the meantime.

There are still issues with the current story, so I would like to explore other options instead of getting too stuck on one thing. Let's step back and throw out any story or background that's been come up with so far, and start fresh.



First off I'd like to see if we can come up with alternatives that address some of the issues with the current one. For instance, the slow start and the late introduction of an actual "conflict" for Punk to actively solve. Also, there is the difficulty of conveying Punk's situation, considering the limited time and no dialogue, conveying the long passages of time and his internal emotions are less than ideal for a short.

Ideally, I'd like to see some alternatives that quickly introduce an active problem for Punk to address, to catch the audience's interest in the beginning. Also, a physical/visual/external problem would be easier to quickly convey to an audience than something tied up with internal emotions or character history.



One option I had earlier that I didn't explore too thoroughly was the idea of a factory intruder. This raises the problem of what/who would intrude, why, what its intentions are (could even be innocent intentions), and what the connection is between the intruder and Punk himself. When considering these questions, ideally there would be a connection to Punk, with Punk being part of the reason that this problem is even arising in the first place. Not required, but a plus if the problem is derived from who Punk is as a character. Thus, a character driven story.

There is also the viable option of the factory machinery acting up. This can also be combined with the intruder option as a related problem.

I also really like the idea of a forced choice, with Punk having to choose between two things he values. If possible I would love to play off something like that. Of course, this presents the task of figuring what things he would be choosing between. We had one in the last story idea (hometown's safety versus signaling the stranger), but it was a very internal choice with the safety of the hometown being hard to convey. Perhaps a choice between fixing an overloading machine (even life threatening) versus something/someone he wants to save/reach. There's also the problem of presenting more than one problem, and he's now split between trying to solve both of them simultaneously. A second problem could be introduced down the line, which would ramp up the intensity of the current situation. Just throwing it out there.

I also had ideas of changing up the conflict. We could re-evaluate the purpose of the factory. Perhaps it's set within a forest, and it's clear-cutting trees for lumber. A man versus nature theme could be presented, with nature fighting back. Or perhaps the intruder option could be twisted to be not a sentient intruder. For instance, maybe the factory is part of a damn, and a big leak breaks out. The flood would be an "intruder" of sorts.

All of these things I've thrown out here so far involve the factory setting, but even this isn't a necessity. If you have other ideas for a setting, lay those on the table, too. We could easily place this in an industrial town, etc.

And of course, with all of these, there must be a way to resolve the problem presented, so keep that in mind, too.



I'd like to come up with some fresh stories by the time this coming weekend is over, so let's all get together and discuss this. Perhaps this Thursday afternoon? In the meantime, feel free to post what you're thinking here.

Thanks in advance, and I look forward to hearing any ideas you might have.

[Captain Galaxy]

I think thursday afternoon at Sara's lunch an even after would work out great.

[Inaaca]

Alright I've been slacking a bit on keeping my art stuff updated. I'll start by continuing where I left off, the story discussions.


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We came up with a few ideas around the factory infiltration concept which I will briefly summarize:

1) Problems arise in the factory. A creature is nesting in the complex. Punk tracks down this nest/babies etc as source of factory problems. Confronted with moral dilemma of what to do about the problem (Innocent, yet destructive creatures). There is also the possibility of having the parent return and cause problems, or even discover the parent deceased in the complex (even possibly being a source of the problem).

2) A creature (or even a young person) is imitating Punk in secret. However, these imitations (fixing machines) are actually breaking machines instead of fixing them due to lack of any real understanding. Punk "chases" this chain of erupting problems and confronts the intruder. In the end, Punk and the intruder make friends and team up to confront the mess. It would also be cute for Punk to supply the critter/youngster with an identical outfit to wear.

3) There were also some other ideas brought up about man versus nature, with Punk practically warring with the surrounding forestry for dominance.


I ran with these ideas in my head for a few days. Turning 'em over and making changes to see what I could do with them. In the end I always had something I wasn't satisfied with. Whether it was clarity of message, flow of action, complexity, or method of resolution, I kept hitting snags.

In response to this, I decided to strip the concept down to the bare bones idea. I eliminated all factors except the most basic: Punk and his machines. From this most basic, bare bones idea I extrapolated and dramatized a very simple story, yet one that had a lot of intensity.

I wrote a dramatic version of it here, and also handed this to the professor as my latest story proposal. I may get feedback on it next week.


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Alone in a myriad of twisting pipes and iron corridors, the young mechanic known as Punk spends his days. The heavy metal creaks as he finishes tightening a loose bolt on an old, rusty steam pipe. Satisfied, he lifts his thick goggles and continues down the metal hallway, following the pipeline he is currently inspecting.

Further down the pipeline, a small leak in a vertical mainline steam channel attracts Punk’s attention. Lowering his goggles, he easily seals off the leak, tightening the connection with his trusty wrench. Raising his goggles and taking a step back, he takes a moment to admire his handiwork, confirming the pressure gauge to be at normal levels.

In moments, the large pipeline creaks and shakes, the pressure gauge climbing exponentially. Taken by surprise, and before Punk has a chance to respond, a seal breaks and the pressure escapes into an adjoining pipeline. The pressure rockets down the pipe, the sudden pressure creating further leaks in the pipe connections. Quickly lowering his goggles, Punk “chases” the pressure buildup down the adjacent hallway. A new leak bursts from the pipe as Punk runs by, catching him off guard and shoving him against the opposite wall. Not to be deterred, and through his determination he regains his footing and continues down the hall without missing a beat.

The hallway opens up into a large room, where the pressure buildup is feeding into a large, important machine, the system core. A large pressure gauge on the side is rapidly climbing to dangerous levels. Quickly, Punk rushes to the pipeline connection feeding into the core, attempting to seal it off. However, without warning, a high pressure steam leak erupts at the connection, cutting of his attempts.

Punk hesitates momentarily as the pressure gauge climbs into the red. Running out of options, he rushes to the large “emergency core pressure release lever” mounted into the floor nearby. Grabbing hold of the lever, he pulls with all his might. It barely shifts before he jerks his hands away, searing hot, practically even burning through his work gloves.

The pressure gauge hits critical. Thinking quickly Punk takes his large wrench in hand and begins hitting the lever as hard as he can, hoping to knock it into place. One, two, three hits, the heavy lever shifting slightly closer each time. The core machine shakes and bulges, bolts and pieces breaking off as a complete overload becomes imminent. Mustering up all his strength, Punk mightily swings at the lever, knocking it into place with a loud clunk. The large machine abruptly shudders to a halt, noisily venting all of the pressurized steam from every valve.

Punk takes a moment to catch his breath, the crisis having been averted. After a moment he takes a look around, now noticing the rather extensive damage caused by the incident. Taking the situation in stride, Punk takes up his wrench and gets back to work.

A mechanic’s work is never done.

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So that's where I stand at the moment. What are all of your responses to this? What do you think?

[Captain Galaxy]

I would have to say its the least intriguing of your ideas, if only from a thematic and conceptual stand-point. Given the parameters of the project, it is probably the most feasible idea. But I don't want nor would I pressume to have any influence on your project.

[Muramasa]

Hah, I already influenced the work. He named the kid "Punk". Score one for Hiigara!

I'd agree with Vampy that it's the most feasible idea yet, I don't think that it's any less intriguing. It seems very straightforward and cartoonish to me, and at this point, that works as an animated short.

I do find it funny that his "moment of genius" during the climax is hitting the level very hard.

[Captain Galaxy]

Ha, yeah, the name Punk is awesome, specially because he is not what is presently conceived of as a punk, instead, he has responsibilities. I like it.

[Inaaca]

Mar 6, 2010 13:52:46 GMT -8 Captain Galaxy said:

I would have to say its the least intriguing of your ideas, if only from a thematic and conceptual stand-point. Given the parameters of the project, it is probably the most feasible idea. But I don't want nor would I pressume to have any influence on your project.

I would agree that it's less compelling/intriguing due to the fact that there's no real mystery involved. He knows what the problem is, the issue is trying to solve it and return the situation to status quo.

The thing is, the more clever and compelling I tried to be, the more complex the story got, the more difficult it became to tell, and the more problems I ran into. This is why I tried shifting up my approach and stripping away any lofty ideas or complex situations.

It seems to be producing effective results so far.

Mar 6, 2010 17:52:36 GMT -8 Muramasa said:

Hah, I already influenced the work. He named the kid "Punk". Score one for Hiigara!

I'd agree with Vampy that it's the most feasible idea yet, I don't think that it's any less intriguing. It seems very straightforward and cartoonish to me, and at this point, that works as an animated short.

I do find it funny that his "moment of genius" during the climax is hitting the level very hard.

Heh, yeah.. I concede. I think the name has pretty much stuck at this point.

The focus here is creating as much intensity and urgency as I can. If I can convey this to the audience, and get them to feel the same kind of intensity watching this animation, and get them to really want Punk to succeed, then I've done my job with this particular story.

[Muramasa]

So, has your professor given any feedback on your current idea?

[Inaaca]

He hadn't had a chance to read them yet when I spoke with him today.

Regardless, work on storyboarding is beginning.

[Captain Galaxy]

You know, I've been thinking, you may want to find someone else to do the music for you. I have excellent recording equipment, but not a truly professional keyboard. I'm sure there are music majors at Fullerton who would jump at this chance to add something to their portfolio.

[Inaaca]

Um.. what? Why would I get someone else at this stage, especially after I've watched you get all psyched up about taking part?

Besides, who needs a "truly professional" keyboard. I'm not exactly a "truly professional" animator.

C'mon man, I need you to have a little confidence in your abilities.