The Animation Thread

[Captain Galaxy]

Alright then, I'll have to work with what I have, hopefully, if I get a job soon enough, I can get a better keyboard and re-record the final product in time.

[Inaaca]

That's the spirit.

Don't lose heart so easily. Ya gave me a bit of a scare there.

Seriously though, man. There's nothing quite like working together with a good friend. I'm really happy that you're as excited to be on this project as I am. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Kuat]

I was looking at the newer ideas, they aren't as good as the original one you posted where he had to overload the complex to signal a nearby vehicle. Any reason you abandoned the one you posted back on page one?

[Inaaca]

Mar 10, 2010 22:04:21 GMT -8 Kuat said:

I was looking at the newer ideas, they aren't as good as the original one you posted where he had to overload the complex to signal a nearby vehicle. Any reason you abandoned the one you posted back on page one?

I've been explaining my decision-making and brainstorming processes in my discussions, but to recap:

In response to the original story (signaling the vehicle):

First off I'd like to see if we can come up with alternatives that address some of the issues with the current one. For instance, the slow start and the late introduction of an actual "conflict" for Punk to actively solve. Also, there is the difficulty of conveying Punk's situation, considering the limited time and no dialogue, conveying the long passages of time and his internal emotions are less than ideal for a short.

Ideally, I'd like to see some alternatives that quickly introduce an active problem for Punk to address, to catch the audience's interest in the beginning. Also, a physical/visual/external problem would be easier to quickly convey to an audience than something tied up with internal emotions or character history.

And later, in response to further brainstorms (factory intruder/environmental conflict ideas):

I ran with these ideas in my head for a few days. Turning 'em over and making changes to see what I could do with them. In the end I always had something I wasn't satisfied with. Whether it was clarity of message, flow of action, complexity, or method of resolution, I kept hitting snags.

In response to this, I decided to strip the concept down to the bare bones idea. I eliminated all factors except the most basic: Punk and his machines. From this most basic, bare bones idea I extrapolated and dramatized a very simple story, yet one that had a lot of intensity.

That help answer your question?

The amount of time I have to effectively tell and convey a story is very limited. Complex ideas and situations that needed to be clearly conveyed to the audience in earlier concepts were demanding too much animation time that could be otherwise used to tell the story, develop the character, and engage the audience.

Because of that, I feel a much simpler scenario will be more effective.

Feel free to disagree or refute anything, though. I'm open to ideas/criticism/ect.

[Kuat]

Mar 10, 2010 22:20:30 GMT -8 Inaaca said:

For instance, the slow start and the late introduction of an actual "conflict" for Punk to actively solve. Also, there is the difficulty of conveying Punk's situation, considering the limited time and no dialogue, conveying the long passages of time and his internal emotions are less than ideal for a short.

I scanned through the thread, and saw some suggestions of calendars, and other signs of the flow of time. You know, accumulating dirt, changing of seasons. He would have to actually show strong emotions, but it would be implied through his final action of trying to signal someone. Together with your drawings, I can actually imagine a short on my own that would be composed like that. Although I understand your concerns, if you could pull it off it would be pretty damned good. However, it's probably the hardest route to take.

I decided to strip the concept down to the bare bones idea. I eliminated all factors except the most basic: Punk and his machines. From this most basic, bare bones idea I extrapolated and dramatized a very simple story, yet one that had a lot of intensity[...]The amount of time I have to effectively tell and convey a story is very limited. Complex ideas and situations that needed to be clearly conveyed to the audience in earlier concepts were demanding too much animation time that could be otherwise used to tell the story, develop the character, and engage the audience.

I like the idea of having the focus be on Punk and his machines, but there should be an element other than just simple maintenance. Of the current ideas, this one:

2) A creature (or even a young person) is imitating Punk in secret. However, these imitations (fixing machines) are actually breaking machines instead of fixing them due to lack of any real understanding. Punk "chases" this chain of erupting problems and confronts the intruder. In the end, Punk and the intruder make friends and team up to confront the mess. It would also be cute for Punk to supply the critter/youngster with an identical outfit to wear.

Has a great deal of potential; the old "gremilins" story (these gremlins, not the movie ones). Punk would hear a disaster, then a see skittering shadow/dropped wrench, etc. Having him confront a creature who tried to imitate his dress (like having bottle cap goggles, or things of that nature) would be adorable.

As far as ideas, one thing I though of (apologies if this already exists) is that the machine itself was alive. Basically, it would have Punk doing maintenance, and then hearing some odd groans, and maybe get burned/harrassed by steam. It would essentially go on with Punk getting "harrased" by various parts, until he would have a showdown with a giant clockwork monstrosity that "evolved" or extended from the machine itself. He'd engage in a quick battle with it, and after defeating it he would then start to build over from scratch, like this is a cycle that has happened before.

[Inaaca]

Mar 10, 2010 23:28:51 GMT -8 Kuat said:

Mar 10, 2010 22:20:30 GMT -8 Inaaca said:

For instance, the slow start and the late introduction of an actual "conflict" for Punk to actively solve. Also, there is the difficulty of conveying Punk's situation, considering the limited time and no dialogue, conveying the long passages of time and his internal emotions are less than ideal for a short.

I scanned through the thread, and saw some suggestions of calendars, and other signs of the flow of time. You know, accumulating dirt, changing of seasons. He would have to actually show strong emotions, but it would be implied through his final action of trying to signal someone. Together with your drawings, I can actually imagine a short on my own that would be composed like that. Although I understand your concerns, if you could pull it off it would be pretty damned good. However, it's probably the hardest route to take.

The biggest problem with this is that during the lengthy time that this passage of time is being conveyed, nothing is really happening, there's no conflict, and there hasn't really been anything to hook or engage the audience.

With an animation as short as this, I need to establish a conflict and hook the audience very quickly.

Mar 10, 2010 23:28:51 GMT -8 Kuat said:

I like the idea of having the focus be on Punk and his machines, but there should be an element other than just simple maintenance. Of the current ideas, this one:

2) A creature (or even a young person) is imitating Punk in secret. However, these imitations (fixing machines) are actually breaking machines instead of fixing them due to lack of any real understanding. Punk "chases" this chain of erupting problems and confronts the intruder. In the end, Punk and the intruder make friends and team up to confront the mess. It would also be cute for Punk to supply the critter/youngster with an identical outfit to wear.

Has a great deal of potential; the old "gremilins" story (these gremlins, not the movie ones). Punk would hear a disaster, then a see skittering shadow/dropped wrench, etc. Having him confront a creature who tried to imitate his dress (like having bottle cap goggles, or things of that nature) would be adorable.

The biggest snag I hit with this one is that I wasn't able to come up with a satisfying resolution to the problem. I welcome any suggestions, though.

Mar 10, 2010 23:28:51 GMT -8 Kuat said:

As far as ideas, one thing I though of (apologies if this already exists) is that the machine itself was alive. Basically, it would have Punk doing maintenance, and then hearing some odd groans, and maybe get burned/harrassed by steam. It would essentially go on with Punk getting "harrased" by various parts, until he would have a showdown with a giant clockwork monstrosity that "evolved" or extended from the machine itself. He'd engage in a quick battle with it, and after defeating it he would then start to build over from scratch, like this is a cycle that has happened before.

There was a suggestion or two tossed around with Punk dealing with unruly sentient machinery that I neglected to write down. Yours is unique from the others, though.

I think this is interesting, though. Clever things could be done to give more or less inanimate objects character and personality.

[Kuat]

Mar 10, 2010 23:39:31 GMT -8 Inaaca said:

Mar 10, 2010 23:28:51 GMT -8 Kuat said:

Has a great deal of potential; the old "gremilins" story (these gremlins, not the movie ones). Punk would hear a disaster, then a see skittering shadow/dropped wrench, etc. Having him confront a creature who tried to imitate his dress (like having bottle cap goggles, or things of that nature) would be adorable.

The biggest snag I hit with this one is that I wasn't able to come up with a satisfying resolution to the problem. I welcome any suggestions, though.

Punk finding the critter and then showing them working together productively (with the gremlin then functioning as an assistant) would be good enough IMHO.

[Inaaca]

Mar 10, 2010 23:53:52 GMT -8 Kuat said:

Mar 10, 2010 23:39:31 GMT -8 Inaaca said:

The biggest snag I hit with this one is that I wasn't able to come up with a satisfying resolution to the problem. I welcome any suggestions, though.

Punk finding the critter and then showing them working together productively (with the gremlin then functioning as an assistant) would be good enough IMHO.

It's too easy, and there's no conflict there which will make for a pretty boring animation.

I need to give Punk a problem that he has to work to overcome. The character should be stretched to his limits, even to the point of hitting failure, and really build a level of intensity in the animation.

This is the focus of my current story concept.

[Muramasa]

Perhaps you could change the scenario to that of Punk dealing with a piece of machinery that he happens to have built himself, springing to life and then him trying to deal with that? It could cause all sorts of trouble, but then he'd have to be placed into the position of him euthanizing this thing that he created?

[Inaaca]

I'm considering both Kuat and Mura's "life in the machine" type suggestions, and will probably type something out to address it.

In the meantime...



Punk 5 Step Turnaround




Punk Construction Model








Punk Expression Sheets

[Kuat]

Spectacular stuff, Seanster. Really brings that character to life.

[Inaaca]

Thanks man. Glad ya think so.

[Muramasa]

Looks pretty good, but what's up with the pose on #6?

Also, four fingers on a cartoon is a pretty standard thing, but it still freaks me out for some reason.

[Captain Galaxy]

Ha, you're right, he's like "Ooh a wrench."

[Muramasa]

I think he's reaching too low with that wrench. Like he's trying to fix his "plumbing"...

On a more serious note though, I'm pretty partial to #4, I think it's sorta the quintessential character portrait. Which one are you fond of, Vi²?

[Inaaca]

#6 is a sneak. A bit of an anxious sneak, at that. The construction is a little broken in that one, though.

I gotta say that I'm particularly fond of #4, as well. It fits him nicely.

[Inaaca]

Alright, this thread hasn't been seeing a lot of action lately, but the storyboarding process has started. That said, the story has, once again, undergone major revisions from previous versions. Considering that, I'll let y'all in on what I'm working with at the moment. This will more than likely be the final version of the animation story, albeit with minor tweaks and changes as the storyboarding progresses.

I don't really feel like writing out a dramatic version right now so I'll just type out a quick skeleton of the story here:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Establishing shot. This is one of the parts that isn't quite set in stone yet. I have a couple options, one being a long shot of Punk's current location and the machine he's working on. The second is a series of shots showing a city and the people within, followed by a long camera move taking us far below the city, and to the station where Punk is.

The reason for the second option is to create even higher stakes apart from those directly relating to Punk in regards to the machine failing. This was my professor's suggestion.

-Punk tightening a bolt on the machine with his wrench.

The machine is some kind of pressurized station of sorts. The designs for the machine and the general surroundings are still unrefined. I'm working on this aspect now, because having an unclear environment makes storyboarding difficult. For the purpose of this, though, imagine a large boiler with a bunch of pipes, and Punk is accessing this via a series of catwalks with guardrails suspended above what would be a very long fall.

-Punk successfully tightens bolt. Lifts his goggles and wipes his forehead, giving the first clear view of his face.

-Punk steps back and admires his work. He takes his wrench and as he moves to tuck it into his belt, gets it caught on a chain on his person.

I haven't quite figured out how it's going to get caught, but I need a way to draw attention to the locket. Perhaps instead of around his neck it could be in a pocket or something and the chain came loose. That collar is awfully protective for something around his neck to accidentally get snagged.

- The chain snaps and a locket falls. Punk panics and barely manages to catch it before it hits the catwalk.

- He breathes a sigh of relief and takes a look at the locket. It contains an old picture of him and his mother (another possible variation here. Girlfriend, maybe.) Punk makes a sad smile.

- A rumble causes him to look up, and a sudden explosion of steam pressure catches him by surprise. The locket is wrenched from his hand and Punk is sent slamming into the railing opposite the machine.

- Punk catches himself and carefully pulls himself back away from the edge, spotting the locket in the process, perched precariously on an edge a few feet away.

- Punk rushes for the locket and another violent burst of steam threatens his safety. The machine finally gaining his attention, Punk glances at the pressure dials. The pressure is climbing, but levels aren't critical.

- Still having time, and being so close, Punk reaches for the locket. Another blast of steam cuts him off and the whole place trembles.

- Punk takes another look at the dials and the levels are critical. Punk is torn between the two options (if the second establishing shot with the city is used, that could be brought up as one of his considerations, like a flash of memory) but ultimately recognizes the machine as being the greater priority.

- Punk lowers his goggles in a determined fashion, and rushes to the machine.

- The high volume of steam proves to be too much, and Punk can't get close enough. He spots the release lever and heads for that.

- He grabs the lever and jerks back in recoil, feeling the intense heat right through his gloves. Thinking quickly, Punk takes his wrench and "hammers" the lever into place, barely shutting off the steam pressure before the machine blows.

- Punk looks over to see the locket still there, and rushes toward it. As he nears the locket, it falls over the edge.

- In a panic, Punk dives for the locket, barely grabbing it before it falls out of reach.

- Punk breathes a deep sigh of relief and pulls himself back up. He tucks the locket away and returns to his work.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's where I currently stand. I'd like to hear all of your feedback on it.

[Captain Galaxy]

As a director, I'd have to suggest that when you do the last Locket Dive scene... don't show Punk immediately rushing for it. To be more clear:

- Punk looks over to see the locket still there.

- Suddenly, it finally teeters over the edge.

- A clawed hand comes out of nowhere and catches it.

The camera pans up to see:

- Rap-tore, his dinosaur steam-work friend.

I think it would make this short a lot less predictable. Just kidding by the way. I was going to suggest not showing him immediately rushing for it, because it creates more tension, but then I realized that you'd miss a lot of animation opportunities.

So far I think it's ok. Look forward to seeing it. I do like how you managed to incorporate that moral dilemma back into it again, really gives it life.

[Inaaca]

I'm definitely not going to dismiss that idea yet (raptor aside) because I like it and I think it has potential.

Thanks for the suggestion. :`

[Captain Galaxy]

C'mon dude... the dinosaur is the kicker.